We are not designed for an obvious purpose. I can think of millions of different reasons why we are what we are, why we do what we do, why we are supposedly destined to live our lives. Some of my declarations are based on scientific facts, yet most of them originate from my creative and dreamy mind. Yeah, sometimes I just love pretending I know everything about life, or at least all I need to know.
A wise fellow once told me it is "all about the balance", and that if you manage to keep everything balanced, you will live a very fulfilling and wealthy life. This really stunned me at that time, because I never really thought of it that way. Ever since I am able to cherish this precious memory, my mind wanders off from time to time. - Today is one of those days.
Lately, I feel as if the 'balance' I used to experience is disappearing. If it's not because I spend too little time on my school work, I feel as if I don't talk to my friends enough. In addition, I am surrounded by expectations. We often expect too much from other people, as if we expect everyone to live up to our standards.
This is quite a busy time for me, school is just making sure that I have no time to live an actual normal social life. Perhaps I caused this stress myself, or perhaps my messed up week schedule full of exams is tiring me down. Either way, it is socially, physically, emotionally and mentally unhealthy. I find myself stressing over the littlest things throughout the day, without feeling like things are paying off. I do not know why I do this. I just do not like spending all my time either studying or panicking because I feel as if I do not study often enough.
My current life is full of expectations. People expect things from me, or maybe that is just how I see things. Whenever I feel like someone expects me to do or say something, a fear arises. If there's one thing I hate, it's letting people down, or letting myself down for that matter. Yet these fears and expectations always seem inevitable. I guess it's just something we all have to deal with, sometimes you will have to deal with expectations, and sometimes you have nothing to fear. These days the expectations are in majority.
So, to sum up, I feel unbalanced. Though I'm pretty much convinced that I managed to transfer that message.
<3
Sorry im getting slow at reacting...:P
ReplyDeleteBut i know what you mean, or at least i like to think that i know what you mean. I reckon most of the stress is probably caused by the upcoming exams...they're really not that intense when you're in the middle of them, it's the road that leads up to the exams that makes it so unnerving. It only gets better after you've gone through this part :)
oh well that sounds promising, I sure do hope you're right. I'm not really enjoying all this stress, you know. Hehe :)
ReplyDeleteHaha i don't think anyone enjoys stress :P but then again, if there wouldn't be any time with some stress then the days without worries or problems wouldn't be that special...i guess :)
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