None of my questions really mattered. The obnoxious feeling in my stomach told me more than my mind ever could. The obnoxious feeling representing the cruel lack of you. This had nothing to do with comprehension, it was all based on shameless affection. Fragments of the past, captured. Captured in my mind, where I can still see the way you layed your eyes on me that night, the way your touch made my knees weak. I rivet my eyes on those memories, knowing they changed my life.
During the night, I used to have a very specific dream. An empty road, with no destination whatsoever. I would walk, going nowhere. Many times I have been looking for a way to fill in the missing pieces I did not only experience during those nightmares. It was rather hard to know there was a void, without knowing how to fix it.
Then you spoke the words I genuinely needed to hear. I rely on those words, whether it is healthy or not. That void I used to experience, it has vanished. Don't mistake my occasional silence with trouble, I simply tend to be silent when you look at me that way, the way no one ever looked at me before. I might be taking a major risk, yet I do not care. My fears have broken down to bits. None of my questions truly matter. Not when I'm with you.
During the night, I used to have a very specific dream. An empty road, with no destination whatsoever. I would walk, going nowhere. Many times I have been looking for a way to fill in the missing pieces I did not only experience during those nightmares. It was rather hard to know there was a void, without knowing how to fix it.
Then you spoke the words I genuinely needed to hear. I rely on those words, whether it is healthy or not. That void I used to experience, it has vanished. Don't mistake my occasional silence with trouble, I simply tend to be silent when you look at me that way, the way no one ever looked at me before. I might be taking a major risk, yet I do not care. My fears have broken down to bits. None of my questions truly matter. Not when I'm with you.
... Woah, this applies to my life so much right now. I'm not sure if it's a smart move, but I totally surrendered to her, and the whole world seems to be okay when we're together... Now that we're not together though, my stomach has been hurting ever since she left. Ah well, in a few weeks everything will be okay.
ReplyDelete:) I honestly couldn't be happier for you my dear friend. And surrendering yourself to someone is a smart move, as long as you know it's the right person. You totally deserve it. <3
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